Thursday, January 29, 2009

Seven Pounds---Ignore the Critics

Will Smith's Seven Pounds.
What can I say without giving too much info?
Unfortunately for me I only have to see it once because I predicted the ending just based on what I saw in the previews. My date that night didn't predict it, and she enjoyed it.
Will Smith gives a very heart-touching performance--similar to the one in Hancock.
The characters in this movie were deep and moving, and well casted.
Rosario Dawson from Sin City.
Barry Pepper from Saving Private Ryan.
Woody Harrelson from Kingpin and No Country for Old Men.

And some, even while leaving the theater, will ask, "Seven pounds of what?"


The Curious Case of Benjamin Button---Well Done!

I really liked this movie.
Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett were perfect, and I never realized before how beautiful Cate Blanchett could be!
The story was heart-felt and heart-breaking. Covering the entire life of Benjamin Button from birth to death.
It touched me, and almost made me wish I could live a life like that. Having the prime of my life to look forward to in my older years doesn't sound too bad. I can't do much with it now while I'm broke and can't get paid worth a darn...
It took me a while to figure out that the "young" Benjamin was computer animated too. Or, a mask or something. Not entirely sure.

One of my favorite parts, besides the 50-cal machine guns, was when the little black guy acted like an evil monkey. There aren't enough evil monkeys in the world.

I'll probably buy this one.


Gran Torino---Ethnic Slurs Anyone?

I totally loved Gran Torino, and not just because it quadrupled my vocabulary of racial insults.
I loved it because it made a strong comment on the crappiness of the kids being raised these days.

I mean, look at me?! What the heck has happened to young people today?!

If you've watched the trailer and think that you know what this movie is about and that you already know what happens in this movie YOU ARE WRONG.

This movie is full of depth, meaning, morals, and heart.

And Clint Eastwood is at his best, believe me.

The only thing this movie lacked was war flashbacks. Eastwood kept referring to killing Koreans and using their bodies as sand-bags, but they never flash back and I wanted to see a young Eastwood killing people.

I can't tell you my feelings on the ending though---not without giving too much away.

But yeah, if you are the type who likes to be offended when races other than your own are insulted then you shouldn't see this, cause EVERY race in the book gets the EASTWOOD SMACK-DOWN!

Seriously, my vocab quadrupled. I can't even remember what all I learned.


Paul Blart: Mall Cop---Histerical

I laughed SO HARD in this movie.

Sure, the bad guys ride around on skate-boards and BMXs, and SURE they know how to free-style run and rob credit-card machines or whatever the heck...

But it was FUNNY! I laughed the whole way through!

Kevin James who both wrote and starred in this movie is a comic genius.

Like a less-insane, almost less-fat, more puppy-dog version of Chris Farley.

Great characters, decent-enough plot, funny humor and a gross scene involving a lollipop.

That being said, bring the kids.


The Day the Earth Stood Still---For No Reason

Why was this movie made? What was the moral?
The plot and characters and everything seemed to build toward some great lesson on life and peace and humanity and then suddenly.... it was over and it was just plain stupid.

Not even Keanu's famous acting ability did anything to save this movie from complete disaster.

I'm glad I saw it, so that when I go see the original I'll have something crappy to compare it too.

And Jaden Smith...I can't believe that kid is gonna be the new Karate Kid.

Jennifer Connelly is still hot though, so at least that's something.

Don't waste your time.


Inkheart---What Have They Learned?

A cast full of actors that I totally adore--Brandon Fraser, Paul Bettany, Andy Serkis, Jim Broadbent!!! And still, I left the theater after seeing Inkheart wondering why why that movie had been made.
The idea was totally original, the characters were well-portrayed, the set and the costumes were what's wrong with this picture?
Character development.
There was zero character development.
Nobody learns nothing.

And to think that I've been looking forward to this movie for over a year since I first heard of it.


Saturday, November 29, 2008

Transporter 3---Kill the Girl, Save the Movie

The first Transporter was great, it demanded a second.
The second was completely awful. I kept expecting the Spy Kids to show up and fly Jason Statham out of that terrible film. I did enjoy that bit with the fire-hose though.
In Transporter 3, Jason Statham reminds everyone who kicks the most butt.
He doesn't use a fire-hose (disappointed me) to beat the dickens out of all the bad guys in this one. Instead Statham just uses his fists and his suit jacket.
He punches like some kind of a machine.

"You must be the smart one."
"No. I'm the big one."

The film does like to pretend that Frank Martin (Jason Statham) and his car are both indestructible, but not in such a distractingly idiotic way as in Transporter 2. I don't wanna say too much, but Frank does get smashed through a cinderblock wall like it's nothing, then continues to fight as if he's just had a minute in the corner with Paulie Pennino (That's Rocky's manager/corner man in case you're like, "Who the f-word is Paulie Pennino?")

Now the girl.
The mandatory hotty.
Natalya Rudakova plays Valentina, the annoying annoying mysterious but still annoying hotty in this action flick.
Like some kind of Ukrainian lingerie-modeling Jar-Jar-Binks-type slut.
Honestly, I kept comparing her to Jar-Jar.
I was wishing someone would either shoot her or toss her out of the car while it passed over a bridge spanning a dried-up river bed.

"Meesa ho-bag! Meesa want roast duck with pepper and frozen wine and--"
"Shoulda fastened your seat-belt like I told you."

It was good to see Jeroen Krabbe (Dr. Charles Nicols from The Fugitive) back in an American film. I mean, he was in Ocean's Twelve, but does that count?

Aside from Jar-Jar, my only complaint would be about the fight choreography. Jason Statham was looking better and badder than ever, but there wasn't as much creativism. The film didn't set any new bars or even meet previous ones. The fight scenes were generic and unoriginal.

Loved it though. I'll just pretend the second movie never happened. Even if the fight scenes in the second were awesome.

Transporter 3.
Check it out.